Breaking Free from Character Defects: Finding Freedom Through Surrender

We all have things we cling to—habits, behaviors, or patterns that we think we need but actually hold us back. Step six of recovery teaches us about becoming “entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.” This isn’t just about addiction; it’s about any behavior or attachment that prevents us from living the life God intended.

What Are Character Defects?

Character defects are patterns of behavior that stem from our struggles with sin and our attachments to things that aren’t God. They can include obvious issues like dishonesty, anger, or materialism, but also subtler problems like people-pleasing, defensiveness, or the need to control.

Think of a child with a pacifier or security blanket. What starts as comfort becomes a dependency that interferes with growth and communication. Similarly, our character defects might have served a purpose at one time, but now they’re obstacles to spiritual and emotional health.

Common Character Defects and Their Opposites

Some character defects include laziness, pessimism, blame-shifting, materialism, vindictiveness, dishonesty, and inflexibility. God wants to replace these with their opposites: diligence, faith, accountability, spiritual focus, forgiveness, truthfulness, and adaptability.

Other defects might be impurity, ingratitude, greed, self-centeredness, or being confrontational. God desires to transform these into purity, gratefulness, generosity, consideration for others, and diplomacy.

Why Do We Hold Onto What Hurts Us?

James 4:1-2 asks, “What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight.”

We hold onto character defects because they feel familiar, even comfortable. Like the man at the pool of Bethesda who had been there for 38 years, sometimes we become comfortable in our dysfunction. When Jesus asked him, “Do you want to get well?” it wasn’t a rhetorical question—healing requires wanting to change.

The Problem with Attachments

Our attachments become idols when we depend on them more than God. This could be substances, behaviors, or even people. When we try to please everyone, we’re essentially worshiping their approval rather than seeking God’s will. As one pastor noted, “Your pleasing of people will eventually lead to their rejection of you.”

How Does God Remove Character Defects?

The key verse for step six comes from James 4:10: “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.” This process requires several important elements:

Surrender and Submission

James 4:7 tells us to “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” We can’t remove our own character defects through willpower alone. We need God’s intervention.

When we surrender, we’re saying, “God, I can’t do this myself. I need you to change me from the inside out.” This isn’t about becoming perfect overnight—it’s about becoming willing to let God work in us.

Drawing Near to God

“Come near to God and he will come near to you” (James 4:8). As we spend time in prayer, reading Scripture, and fellowship with other believers, God begins to transform our hearts and minds.

Purification Through Christ

When James says to “purify your hearts,” he’s not suggesting we can clean ourselves up. Rather, we invite God to purify us through the work of Jesus Christ. It’s not about our effort—it’s about God’s power working in us.

What About the Rich Young Ruler?

In Matthew 19, Jesus encountered a wealthy young man who wanted to follow him. Jesus told him to “sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” The man went away sad because he had great wealth.

The disciples asked, “Who then can be saved?” Jesus replied, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible” (Matthew 19:26). This applies to all our character defects—what seems impossible for us to change is possible with God.

The Danger of Modern Idolatry

Just as the Israelites were tempted to worship the gods of surrounding nations, we face modern forms of idolatry. Whether it’s money, success, relationships, food, or even coffee, anything we think we “need” besides God can become an idol.

Ancient peoples would sacrifice their children to gods like Molech, believing it would bring prosperity. Today, we might sacrifice our integrity, relationships, or health for things we think will make us happy or secure.

A Prayer for Step Six

Here’s a prayer that captures the heart of step six: “Dear God, I am ready for your help in removing from me the defects of character which I now realize are an obstacle to my recovery. Help me to continue being honest with myself and guide me toward spiritual and mental health.”

God Sees Everything

God sees all our struggles, all our character defects, and all our pain. But He doesn’t see them to condemn us—He sees them because He wants to heal us. He wants to break us free from every addiction, compulsion, and character defect that prevents us from experiencing the abundant life He offers.

Being “good” isn’t enough to get us into heaven or to transform our character. We need Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior. Only through His power can we experience true freedom and transformation.

Life Application

This week, take an honest inventory of the character defects you’re holding onto. What behaviors, attitudes, or attachments do you think you “need” but actually hold you back from spiritual growth? Choose one specific character defect and surrender it to God daily through prayer.

Ask yourself these questions:

• What am I clinging to that I think I need but actually hurts my relationship with God and others?
• Am I comfortable in my dysfunction, or am I truly ready for God to change me?
• What would my life look like if God removed this character defect?
• How can I draw closer to God this week so He can work in my heart?

Remember, with God all things are possible. The character defects that seem impossible to overcome can be transformed through His power. Humble yourself before the Lord, and He will lift you up.